i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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