What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
