yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize