I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
