I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
