Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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