I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize