I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
