I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
