Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We got so high we made milksteak
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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