sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
