Sry I called you an 8
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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