Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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