His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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