you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize