pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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