I just made out with a guy for $7.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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