Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
