We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
50% drunk capacity currently
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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