New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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