Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
