he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
