i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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