Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
