there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
only you would photoshop your dick
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
