i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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