I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
