her vagine was all disorganized.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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