I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
