Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
