Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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