I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
