I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just want nice things and good sex
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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