It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
