I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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