So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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