It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
