It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
