boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
