it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
