No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
