one two three fourrrrnication!
i think my mom watched the whole time
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
