Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
