And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
