I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
