This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
