Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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