dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize