so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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