Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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