I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
