I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize