Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
