Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize