we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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