i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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