Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
