We should be called the Road Head Warriors
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
