I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
wanna go halves on a baby?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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