You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
