Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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