Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
