i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
