We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Randomize
