i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
