Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
