just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
